First week at Vanderbilt Divinity School
When I step foot in the divinity school I feel like orphan Annie in Daddy Warbuck’s house. I want to run through the halls singing, “I think I’m gonna like it here!” The thing that stops me is a future professor engraving me in their mind forever as the “first year musical psychopath. ”
I still have all the excitement and not the overload shock that some of my fellow students feel because I’m only taking one class. Yes, unbelievably, the Board of Higher Education and Ministry will not let the little publications/office assistant off of her job for more than one class worth of time to get higher education for future ministry. Therefore, I’m working full time and taking “Into to Hebrew Bible” with Douglas Knight. (Despite the fact that he’s a Vanderbilt Rock Star Professor… he did not show up to class with an electric guitar… disappointing, being that we’re in Nashvegas.) Regardless of the number of classes, I am so thankful for the opportunity to begin this journey and I pray to be a good steward of this remarkable gift!!
Besides the opportunity to combine my spiritual and intellectual domains in a grand and glorious grad degree, my favorite part of the journey thus far has been my INCREDIBLE colleagues. It’s phenomenal to meet person after person that desires to change the world, pursue social justice, and eradicate poverty. Due to past experience, I believe that God always finishes the things that he starts… to think that God will finish His goal through and in each one of us makes me want to explode with joy!!!!
Yet, with all of this excitement and joy there is still something deep inside of me that is unresolved and uncertain. It’s not wondering if Div school or Vandy is right for me… It’s deeper inside of me, deeper than I can articulate with words… but it’s there and I feel it… mostly when I turn off the the noise and sit in the silence. It’s deeper than I can reach and God is reaching it… these are words I read tonight from Henri Nowen’s book, The Inner Voice of Love:
“You are not yet there, but you are moving fast. There will be a bit more pain and struggle. You have to dare to live through it. Keep walking straight. Acknowledge your anguish, but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear.”
Love conquering all of me. That’s what I hope this journey is about.
