Privilege
This summer I find myself in a bit of an intellectual and emotional conundrum around the ideas of privilege. It has really been something I have struggled with my whole live, but the combined experience of the immigration trip, the story of someone who has become a dear friend to me, the books I have chosen to read (Including Blood on the Leaves, by Jeff Stetson), and many somewhat random encounters have put me in an inner funk.
I have a specific memory from my childhood when I first recognized my privilege and have felt like I “get it” for a while. Yet, the way I have previously seen my privilege centers on being incredibly thankful for what I have and wanting to make the world a better place. But now I find that my mind is open to listen and imagine their experience, but my privilege is so great when I try to wrap my mind around their experience, to understand what it’s like experience some of the ultimatums people are up against (die or cross the border), or even try to feel what it must be like — I am a little girl putting on my mom’s shoes that are 8 sizes too big.
I felt thankful for my privilege, but now –before I can be thankful– there is an incredible, deep, sadness and anger that I can only begin to tap into. I am sad and angry for the women in the maquiladoras at the border, for the reality that I am a successful and active participant in a system that forces people around the world to suffer, for the fact that I love having everything I want, for the fact that I’m not sure how to help or even if I can make a difference, for my family and friends who will never “get” our privilege and the societal cost to maintain it, for the system itself that keeps it us vs. them, and for 100 other reasons I do not know, yet. – How can I be thankful? How can we begin to truly understand when our skin is so white? How do you gain validity with a community of people who know that you are so different?
I must struggle with these things before I can cross over to the beauty in our diversity and hope for reconciliation. Ultimately the God who understands, knows, and has experienced great suffering, LIVES IN ME to minister to people.








